This is almost as late as it could possibly be but September was pretty darn busy for me and I finally have the time to really sit and go through the stuff that happened this September.
- You cannot do something that is wrong for you
- Deciding to change degrees and suspend studies for a year has to have been simultaneously one of the hardest and easiest decisions I have ever made. It was easy because I knew it was wrong but hard because I felt like a disappointment (and that’s a story for a different post)
- But I learnt that it is okay to put yourself and your needs first. There is nothing to be gained from enduring something that is not right for you, and that makes you hate your life.
- Mental illness is like a whack-a-mole
- It can feel as if you have everything under control and then suddenly the floor is pulled from under your feet and everything is upside down again. When that happens it is so hard to find solid ground again.
- Things sort themselves out in the end, and going to the doctors and asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Jealousy is a natural part of the human existence
- I learnt that people are so ashamed of feeling jealous of other people. And I understand why, but I don’t understand why we need to attach shame to this feeling that is so natural.
- It’s okay to be jealous of people. What’s not okay is to act differently, or negatively towards other people because of your own feelings.
- Joy can always be found
- I am trying to be so much more present in my life and to find the joy in what I do. Because you can find it in so many things that are simple and ordinary.
- One of my runs was the best run in such a long time purely because I found so much joy in what I was doing. I was grateful that I was able to be outside, and in the cold and feeling everything. I was grateful for my legs that were able to carry me four miles up and down muddy hills and I was grateful that I was able to feel these things.
September was a combination of stress, tears, and a major change in what I thought my life was going to be like. The ship was tilting in the seas, and yes, it did almost run aground but we have it upright and whilst everything isn’t plain sailing October has already been a month of learning.